Since TV advertising in Brazil is a huge industry that now has more money than ever to throw around, gringos have been popping up in different commercials in recent years. I recently came across a very funny new one, but here's a quick recap of similar commercials.
First, there was Richard Gere hawking hair products...
As much as I love cultural exchange between Brazil and the US, it's sometimes hard to listen to English and Portuguese get mangled by earnest non-speakers. Here are two prime examples:
The whole Cala boca Galvao movement and Brazilians on Twitter were recent topics at the TED Conference. It's actually an interesting little video (he changes topics after the 4th minute or so, though), but the speaker's pronunciation leaves something to be desired.
Then we have Sabrina Sato, who is already irritating as it is, interviewing Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz in English. I swear I couldn't even watch the whole video because it was so awkward and uncomfortable that it was making me cringe. I did love the part where she was attempting to ask Cameron Diaz about the World Cup, and for some reason she answered that she loves Brazilian waxes. I also thought it was neat that Tom Cruise claims he's studying Portuguese, but it's probable he says the same thing whenever he's promoting a movie in a foreign country.
Ernesto, the Brazil Boricua, a blog friend who writes Zero Tres, was nice enough to let me use one of his posts for a guest post here. He and I have had similar experiences in Brazil, and I have found that as much as I hated doing this, it works really well, especially when I most needed help. So I give you: the lost gringo trick.
A lot of foreigners in Brazil are
bumbling idiots. They don’t speak Portuguese (or they try to get by with
Spanish), they don’t know the culture, they are naive and carefree
while on vacation.
No offense to anyone in particular; I was like that back in 2004. But
time passes and you learn. And one thing I’ve learned is that, when
necessary, I can play the role of bumbling idiot. Play up to the
stereotype that Brazilians expect, and thus Brazilians help me out.
It can be as simple as picking batata doce at the
supermarket. I have no fucking clue how to pick batata doce and
macaxeira and inhame. Simple: just exaggerate the
accent, and ask the old lady: “É bom?“. She’ll ask if you’re a
gringo, you’ll answer “sim” with a thick accent, and she will
proceed to select the best available vegetables for you. You can almost
see the mental *sigh* as she smiles and thinks “coitado do
gringo“. (If you’re a female, try the young, male supermarket
employees.)
It’s fantastic.
It’s also worked with Brazil’s Department of Transportation (DETRAN).
Before I had my Brazilian driver’s license I would always show my
Puerto Rican driver’s license, plus my passport, and exaggerate the
accent. “Oh, I can’t drive? Really? Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t
know.” No fine, no fuss, no breathalyzer test. Free to go. They
wave me on as they think to themselves “coitado do gringo“.
Once in Maranhão I was offered a pousada for R$85
(“oitenta-e-cinco”); I took out R$35 (“trinta-e-cinco”) and handed it
over. “Oh no,” the owner said, now with hand gestures, “oitenta-e-cinco“.
So I apologize (because my Portuguese is obviously very poor and I must
have misunderstood); I put the money back in my pocket and begin to
walk away. “But,” he says, “no, it’s ok. You are alone.
R$85 is for a couple.” It’s low season, and the pousada is empty,
so why would he let me walk away? I smile and hand over the R$35,
thinking that if it was indeed R$85 for a couple then it should be
R$42.50 for a single. I may have just saved R$7.50 or R$50 without even
negotiating. But how much I saved doesn’t matter; I’m happy, because the
lost, confused, misunderstood gringo persona worked again.
It’s not all personal benefit; it also helps in uncomfortable
situations too. For example, I don’t like pointing out when someone
gives me the incorrect change, and the “bumbling idiot gringo” persona
helps. You simply look at the change you received, with a confused look
on your face, and ask (with a thick accent, of course) “Quanto?“.
It’s a nice way of saying: “You are either trying to rip me off, or
you failed math class.” But the Brazilian smiles, counts and
corrects the mistake.
Right around the time I moved to Rio, Eli and I watched one of these videos and it went *woosh* right over my head. I didn't understand why it was funny, mostly because I missed a lot of what they were saying. Fast forward to this weekend, when we watched the same video and a ton of others from the same comedians, and it felt like I was seeing the original video for the first time. While the first video is in fact hilarious, I especially enjoy the second video, which is all about language itself, tautology in particular. They say understanding humor is one of the final barriers in learning a language, so I think videos like these are a fun and useful barometer for gringos learning Portuguese. And for Brazilians, I hope you enjoy if you haven't seen these already!
There are few things I'm truly proud of, things that took years of hard work and determination and effort. One of those things are my language skills.
It's hard for me to imagine that just four years ago, I could barely speak Portuguese. I took a course while studying abroad in Buenos Aires, but it was hard to learn much while being immersed in Spanish and only having one Portuguese class a week. I struggled a lot, and since I was the only American in the class, I was an instant target for the teacher, who especially enjoyed picking on me. During the final exam, I was lost for part of the written test, and I was a complete disaster during the oral exam. I couldn't help but spew a terrible amalgam of mostly Spanish with a few Portuguese words thrown in. The teacher gritted his teeth as I stumbled over my words. I just barely passed.
While traveling in Brazil shortly after, my friends and I had a rather unfortunate incident involving crossed wires and misunderstandings (though not on our part), which forced me to speak as much Portuguese as I could possibly muster. And though it was miserable and completely minimal, we communicated, and finally worked things out. It was my first triumph em portugues.
Now, my Portuguese is as good as, if not better than my Spanish. Every job I have had since graduating from college has depended on my language skills, including the jobs I have now. I listen to music, watch movies, and read books in Spanish and Portuguese. I can occasionally fool people into thinking I'm a native speaker. I have served as a bridge between people and countries. I even help others learn Portuguese. And while I'm still far from perfect, I love the challenge of learning new words and expressions.
There are so many great quotes about languages, like that a person who speaks one language is worth one person, but a person who speaks two languages is worth two people. There's Karl Albrecht, who said, "Change your languages and you change your thoughts." There's Federico Fellini, who said, "A different language is a different vision of life." And there's a Czech proverb that says, "Learn a new language and get a new soul."
Speaking Portuguse (and Spanish) is one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive, gifts I worked hard to earn. I would be lost without them.
When I first heard from Tiago asking about guest posts, my first reaction was a pang of jealousy. Tiago, after all, spent some time bouncing around Brazil, and is now living in Cartagena, the heart of the Colombian Caribbean.
After I got his post, however, my reaction was quite another. I am honored to include here his wonderful text about the difference between Spanish and Portuguese, and the surprises and hilarious pitfalls of moving between the two languages. This is a must-read for language lovers and speakers of Spanish and/or Portuguese.
Spanish vs. Portuguese: What’s the Difference?
One of the most common questions I get as a Brazilian-American living in Colombia is “What is the difference between Spanish and Portuguese?” I get this question from Colombians, Brazilians and Americans alike, and I can often hear a bit of skepticism in their voice, skepticism of my insistence on spending 6 months living in Colombia to learn Spanish after nearly a year in Brazil.
Many people with some experience with these two languages hold that there are very few differences, and sometimes even go so far as to claim that they are more like different dialects of an underlying Iberian lingua franca than two completely separate tongues (they are, in fact, both in the language group called West Iberian).
This view has its merits, especially when you consider that what we know today as “Spain” is really more of a confederacy of various regions with their own distinct cultures and languages. What we call simply “Spanish” is really Castilian, the particular dialect of the Kingdom of Castile, which over several centuries was the driving force behind the expulsion of the Moors from the peninsula and the unification of the numerous Iberian kingdoms into the Spanish state.
Seen from this point of view, tiny Portugal can seem like just another one of these mini-kingdoms that just happened to not join its neighbors, and its language the local dialect of just another regional outpost of Iberian civilization.
The reasoning behind underestimating the differences between the two languages isn’t limited to history. The modern listener upon first exposure will immediately notice the broad similarities and even sometimes identical words and phrases between them.
Take the following sentences, where the first, bold line in each pair is in Spanish and the second is in Portuguese, taken from Gramática Esencial de Español by Manuel Seco by way of Wikipedia:
