Adventures of a Gringa

Fear

The funny thing about Brazilians is that they are incredibly suspicious of anything involving the U.S. government in their country, or foreigners who dare set foot in the Amazon, but they will kiss the ground of any major celebrity that goes to Brazil. Most of the time, they're there on vacation or to promote themselves, but not always.

That's why Madonna in Brazil is absolutely terrifying to me.

First off, I should point out that though Madonna is still undeniably a big celebrity in the US, it's gotten to the point where a lot of us are mostly just scared of her. We have also grown used to her diva whims, from deciding she's a Jew with her Kabbalah "conversion" to strong-arming Malawi into an essentially illegal adoption of her second African child. It's not that she doesn't do anything useful; she started a non-profit in 2006 called Raising Malawi to aid orphans there. But in Oprah-esque fashion, instead of building 1000 schools and 1000 hospitals, she decided to build a single school for $15 million (incidentally, local villagers are blocking its construction). This is why celebrities should not be in charge of development. 

Anyway, along came Jesus Luz, the strapping 23 year-old Brazilian model, and Madonna forgot about Africa for awhile. Now, she's in Rio with him, where her agenda is extremely odd and frankly, is just highly suspicious to me. According to some, she's supposed to meet Jesus's parents for the first time, since he is serious about their relationship and wants to get married, which would be Madonna's third marriage. The other thing is that she was supposed to meet with AfroReggae, one of Rio's most successful non-profits, to discuss working with them on projects and to visit several favelas where they work. Mysteriously, she cancelled the meeting and the excursions, though she did meet with a group of kids from a different non-profit--but they had to meet her at her hotel (Fasano, claro). Methinks all those upper class Brazilians she's hanging out with scared her away from the favelas.

Despite cancelling the AfroReggae plans, she had plenty of time to hit several upscale restaurants around the city, including Sushi Leblon and Yume. She also hung out with her buddy, zillionaire Eike Batista; he lent her his private jet for her trip and let her work out at his house. She's due to go to a big dinner he's hosting tonight along with Rio's mayor and governor, who are quite nearly drooling about the meeting. She's allegedly in Sao Paulo this afternoon to visit a Kabbalah center and to meet with a rabbi, and later she is expected to meet with Lula's Chief of Staff and presidential candidate, Dilma Rousseff, as well as the first lady. Maybe I'm just skeptical, but I find it incredibly inappropriate for a celebrity of her caliber to meet with so many politicians, especially on the eve of an election year and what is on a supposedly leisurely visit. It's just fishy.

Additional note: the military police have been escorting Madonna everywhere, and even got into a tiff with paparazzi when she first arrived in Rio. Does anyone else think it's inappropriate for the government to provide free security to Madonna when it doesn't even provide it to far too many Cariocas?

While it's true Brazil is very popular right now (I cannot wait to pick up this week's Economist), Madonna is in a way just like almost every other gringa I met in Rio, the majority of whom were there because of a significant other. I loved Brazil from the second I got there for the first time, but if it hadn't been for Eli, it's very possible I would have wound up moving somewhere else in Latin America. I have to give Jesus credit, who seems like a vapid model but could likely be the one encouraging all of these different plans.

The point is, I suppose, is to beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing with terrifyingly muscular arms. Just ask Malawi.

Welcome to the United States of America

On Tuesday, a letter came from the USCIS, the immigration bureau. I handed it to Eli and he carefully opened it. I peered over his shoulder, and knowing the nature of American correspondence, skimmed to the top where I spotted the word "approved" and started jumping up and down and shrieking before he had figured out why.

It was a single piece of paper, with the title "Welcome to the United States of America." The first two lines read:

"This is to notify you that your application for permanent residence has been approved. It is with great pleasure that we welcome you to permanent resident status in the United States."

It's hard to explain how gratifying it is not only for Eli to get his residency, but also to see words like "pleasure" and "welcome" coming from the US government during the immigration process. It's not a fun process, and really puts you through the ringer to make sure you are very serious about what you're doing every step of the way. We started last December and nearly a year later, he's finally done it. The letter was also a welcome surprise, considering it only took about two and a half months to process his residency application, which I would say is pretty record time (we were expecting 3-4 months).

But like everything in immigration, just when we feel like we've finally finished and we finally can relax, it's not over yet. His residency is conditional, which means that in two years we will have to apply yet again to change his status, and then go to an immigration center and prove (with documents, photos, and what have you) we are still married in order for his permanent permanent residency to go through. Also, if he ever wants to leave the country before then, he'll have to apply for a special travel waiver.

Since he's not going anywhere for now, and since two years is a ways away, we're both just really happy and relieved that we can relax, at least about immigration. Ate que enfim.

Charmer

The other night, my mom waltzed into my room and asked an odd rhetorical question: "What if we didn't like Eli? It would be so awkward to have you two here. Thank god we love him!"

Touche.

Something that has made my life infinitely easier about moving home with Eli has been that he has charmed literally everyone I have introduced him to: my parents (who had already met him several times in Brazil), my family, friends, and acquaintances. He didn't even scare off anyone in my relatively traditional Jewish family with his tattoos and cafe com leite skin, which makes me think he might have even been able to win over my deceased, unapproving paternal grandmother. It helps that he's good-looking; that's been a winning point with the ladies. But it's because he's kind, honest, and sweet that he's managed to win everyone over, aqueles gringos frios. Even though some people still have a hard time understanding that we are in fact married, they now understand why I went through such great lengths to get him to the US.

But the person--or rather, creature--who has fallen for Eli the most is the family dog, Kippy. Every night when Eli comes home, she races to the door to greet him, jumping up on his knees and making pathetic little mewing noises. At some point, Eli taught her to stand on her hind legs and do a little hop, so she'll do tricks for him in her excitement. If he's feeling generous, he'll let her clamber up onto his lap and very briefly lick his chin. And that's being very generous, considering how he feels about hygiene. Then she'll follow him around for the rest of the night, positioning herself across from him to eye him occasionally, to make sure he isn't going anywhere. When we go to sleep, she'll wedge herself between his feet at the foot of the bed.

It's been a welcome relief to find that everyone loves Eli, since it's never easy to be the newest member of a family, let alone be in a new country.

So you're thinking about emigration

I realized after I started the K-1 tutorial series that I needed an introductory post to explain what you really need before you even start the process, a sort of prequel if you will.

So if you're thinking about starting the K-1 visa process, here are some important things to consider.

1. Time: You're going to need at least six months before you are approved to enter the U.S. This also means you cannot apply for another visa to the U.S. during this period (even a tourist visa), or you may run into some problems at the consulate. You will have to carve out half a year in preparation to go and will need to be realistic that doing the visa in less time is unlikely.

2. Money: If you're doing the process by yourself, you'll need around $2,200 for the visa fees and related fees (doctor's exam, lab fee, shipping fees, copies, etc). This excludes any travel costs and any marriage costs. If you're hiring a lawyer, you'll need a lot more than that. The tricky thing is that the costs pile up during each round of paperwork, and unless you plan ahead, you won't realize how expensive it really is.

3. Absolute, positive certainty. If you are not 100% certain you want to get married, or that you can weather the storm with your fiance/ee, it is not worth the hassle. Knowing that you're in it for the long haul is the only reason to apply for this visa.

4. Attention to detail and lots of double and triple checking. If you're not a stickler for detail, you might want to hire a lawyer. Making simple mistakes on the application forms can lead to a request for more information, which slows down the process considerably. It is essential that you be methodical, organized, and alert to make sure you fill out every form correctly and send in the right information every time.

5. An address in the U.S. If the American fiance/ee has been living abroad for awhile and does not possess a permanent address in the U.S., you will need to get one, which is necessary from the very beginning of the process.

6. A minimum annual income. You will need a minimum annual salary (it's somewhere around $13,000 - 15,000) in order to sponsor your fiance/ee. If not, you will need to find someone willing to co-sponsor the foreign petitioner, who is willing to do two separate rounds of paperwork and provide tax and income information.

Spell check

When you move to a country where the official language is different from your own, you will inevitably face challenges with your name. In Brazil, I told most people to call me Raquel, which just made things easier, and anytime I needed to use my last name, I would have to spell it out letter by letter several times.

Eli has faced similar issues in the US, where he his name is very difficult for English speakers. Some people have tried to pronounce his name right and have managed to quite well, but he mostly tells people to call him Eli (eh-lee) or Eli (ee-lie). He also has to spell out his last name letter by letter.

Unfortunately, he's run into some issues with his name when dealing with bureaucratic paperwork. We went to open a joint bank account, where he was asked to write out his name for how it should appear on the account and his debit card. He wrote it out clearly and showed the bank employee. Then, when we got the debit cards and other information from the bank in the mail, his middle name appeared instead of his last name. We called the bank helpline, and later went into a branch and spoke to a manager. As it turns out, the bank has a rigid policy about last names, in particular one regarding Latin last names (I somehow doubt they know the difference between Spanish and Portuguese ones). It turns out it's a real hassle to change it, since they also have to change it within the system and have this "policy." It's been several weeks and we still haven't managed to resolve the problem.

Also, in the latest correspondence we've received from US immigration, his name was spelled "Eliseo," the Spanish version of his name. He sent them two letters asking them to change it, and on the most recent notification, his name was in fact spelled correctly. Throughout the immigration process, there had never been a problem with the spelling of his name, but I suspect that somewhere along the line, perhaps in an automated part of the process, spellcheck may have actually changed his name to the more commonly known spelling in the US.

In the meantime, the bartending school he attended had no problem in writing out his entire name correctly on his certificate.

Have you ever had this problem living abroad?

Eli & Me

When I first realized that Eli and I were going to have to live with my parents for longer than I expected, I though that it would be some sort of soap opera, the bubbly Brazilian living with a nuclear Jewish family. But as it turns out, it hasn't been dramatic at all. In fact, Eli quietly became just another member of the family.

Since we've both been looking for jobs but haven't found any yet, we've been hanging around the house quite a bit. Eli plays Playstation 2 (FIFA) with my brother for at least an hour a day, and sometimes we go kayaking with my mom. We usually help my mom with grocery shopping and errands, and occasionally take my dog out for long walks. We go out at least once a week by ourselves to see friends or out in the city. Eli started a little gardening project and has been planting flowers and redoing the landscaping in the yard, and helping fix things around the house. Sometimes we go out with my brother to the mall or the movies. (Eli and I went to see Bruno with my dad. Very awkward.)  Every other or week or so, the whole family heads to the river to barbecue, and Eli has become quite a hit with his Brazilian-style steak. We've traveled a little bit to Pennsylvania and New Jersey, too.

 

 

 

Photos by Eliseu/me

The situation isn't exactly ideal, but it has also been very helpful for Eli's English and a chance for him to get to know my family. We're hanging in there, just hoping that things will work out soon.

So you got an interview

Today is Part III of the visa series, teaching you how to apply for the K-1 visa, if you are crazy enough to do it.

At this point, you should have received your NOA1 and NOA2, notifying you that your I-129F application was approved. Make sure you keep both of those notifications because you will need copies of them later.

At this point, it takes a few weeks for your application to be forwarded to your fiance's local consulate. In Eli's case, it took about 3 weeks. Then, when the consulate receives and processes the application, they send the foreign fiance a notification with an interview date. Party!

But really, that just brings you to Big Step #2.

At this point, if you are not living with your fiance, it's time to ship him/her certain documents that he/she will need to bring to the interview. Here's what both of you will need to do/get for the foreign fiance:

--a copy of the NOA2

--filled out DS-230 (just the top)
--2 copies of a filled out DS-156 (which you do online and print)
--filled out DS-156K
--filled out DS-157
--filled out FS-257A (this is the Portuguese/English version)
--filled out Sworn Statement

--2 passport-sized photos
--letters of good conduct from local authorities (see your local consulate for request forms)

--original birth certificate and a copy
--original death or marriage certificates and a copy of each
--original military service document and a copy

--receipt from $131 standard US visa fee (in Brazil, you must pay ONLY at Citibank)

--sealed medical examination* (see list of doctors in Brazil here)
--filled out I-134 and supporting documents (proof of citizenship/residency, last tax return, letter from employer, recent pay stubs)**

--foreign fiance's passport

*When you go for your medical exam, which can only be done at US embassy-approved doctors, you will have to have a chest X-ray, an HIV test, a physical, and any vaccinations you may need. The doctor will give you a sealed envelope with the results. HOWEVER, once you get to the US, you will need the vaccination information again, so try to get an extra copy of it from the doctor, if he'll give it to you.

**There's a poverty cut-off for income, but if you've been living abroad like me and can't make it, all you need is a co-sponsor to fill out his/her own I-134 and provide documentation, as long as he/she promises to provide financial support for your fiance.

The most time consuming parts are the medical exam (in Brazil, you are sent to outside labs for the tests and then have to schedule an appointment with the doctor), waiting for the letters of good conduct to come out (in Rio, one took a week and the other took two weeks), and putting together the enormous pile of paperwork.

But once you're done, all you have to do is sit and wait for your interview!