On Tuesday, a letter came from the USCIS, the immigration bureau. I handed it to Eli and he carefully opened it. I peered over his shoulder, and knowing the nature of American correspondence, skimmed to the top where I spotted the word "approved" and started jumping up and down and shrieking before he had figured out why.
It was a single piece of paper, with the title "Welcome to the United States of America." The first two lines read:
"This is to notify you that your application for permanent residence has been approved. It is with great pleasure that we welcome you to permanent resident status in the United States."
It's hard to explain how gratifying it is not only for Eli to get his residency, but also to see words like "pleasure" and "welcome" coming from the US government during the immigration process. It's not a fun process, and really puts you through the ringer to make sure you are very serious about what you're doing every step of the way. We started last December and nearly a year later, he's finally done it. The letter was also a welcome surprise, considering it only took about two and a half months to process his residency application, which I would say is pretty record time (we were expecting 3-4 months).
But like everything in immigration, just when we feel like we've finally finished and we finally can relax, it's not over yet. His residency is conditional, which means that in two years we will have to apply yet again to change his status, and then go to an immigration center and prove (with documents, photos, and what have you) we are still married in order for his permanent permanent residency to go through. Also, if he ever wants to leave the country before then, he'll have to apply for a special travel waiver.
Since he's not going anywhere for now, and since two years is a ways away, we're both just really happy and relieved that we can relax, at least about immigration. Ate que enfim.
The other night, my mom waltzed into my room and asked an odd rhetorical question: "What if we didn't like Eli? It would be so awkward to have you two here. Thank god we love him!"
Touche.
Something that has made my life infinitely easier about moving home with Eli has been that he has charmed literally everyone I have introduced him to: my parents (who had already met him several times in Brazil), my family, friends, and acquaintances. He didn't even scare off anyone in my relatively traditional Jewish family with his tattoos and cafe com leite skin, which makes me think he might have even been able to win over my deceased, unapproving paternal grandmother. It helps that he's good-looking; that's been a winning point with the ladies. But it's because he's kind, honest, and sweet that he's managed to win everyone over, aqueles gringos frios. Even though some people still have a hard time understanding that we are in fact married, they now understand why I went through such great lengths to get him to the US.
But the person--or rather, creature--who has fallen for Eli the most is the family dog, Kippy. Every night when Eli comes home, she races to the door to greet him, jumping up on his knees and making pathetic little mewing noises. At some point, Eli taught her to stand on her hind legs and do a little hop, so she'll do tricks for him in her excitement. If he's feeling generous, he'll let her clamber up onto his lap and very briefly lick his chin. And that's being very generous, considering how he feels about hygiene. Then she'll follow him around for the rest of the night, positioning herself across from him to eye him occasionally, to make sure he isn't going anywhere. When we go to sleep, she'll wedge herself between his feet at the foot of the bed.
It's been a welcome relief to find that everyone loves Eli, since it's never easy to be the newest member of a family, let alone be in a new country.
Slowly but surely, Eli has begun the process of Americanization. I'm not necessarily happy about it, but it's inevitable to a certain degree.
He's been speaking English a lot, though he still speaks to me in Portuguese unless we're talking in a group with other people, but I'm selfishly thankful for that because I really don't want to lose my Portuguese. Nevertheless, he'll throw in English words when we're talking in Portuguese all the time, and he'll surprise me with random big vocabulary words I didn't know he knew.
He's been watching a lot of [American] football. He claims he's always loved the Giants, but now he watches all the time, even if there are other teams playing. And the funny part is when he shouts or curses at the TV, he does it in English, even though when he watches soccer, he yells in Portuguese. That makes me smile.
The other day, he left me a voicemail on my cell phone. I thought about it, and I'm pretty sure it's the first time in the 3 years we've been together that he has left me a voicemail. Voicemail is not big in Rio - I didn't know anyone who had an answering machine on their home phones - and he most certainly never used it. I was so happy when he did.
Luckily, because of his personality, he's already a highly punctual person, and is always early or on time. Ironically, because there are so many recent immigrants in New York, he's sometimes the first one to show up. (For example, he's been playing soccer with a group of Ecuadorian and Colombian guys.)
He jaywalks. All the time. He sometimes agrees to eating raw vegetables without being drenched in oil or dressing. He learned how to play baseball. He loves Oreos and marshmallows. He wears Yankees shirts all the time.
He's still very much Brazilian, but he's adapting in different ways than I expected.
I realized after I started the K-1 tutorial series that I needed an introductory post to explain what you really need before you even start the process, a sort of prequel if you will.
So if you're thinking about starting the K-1 visa process, here are some important things to consider.
1. Time: You're going to need at least six months before you are approved to enter the U.S. This also means you cannot apply for another visa to the U.S. during this period (even a tourist visa), or you may run into some problems at the consulate. You will have to carve out half a year in preparation to go and will need to be realistic that doing the visa in less time is unlikely.
2. Money: If you're doing the process by yourself, you'll need around $2,200 for the visa fees and related fees (doctor's exam, lab fee, shipping fees, copies, etc). This excludes any travel costs and any marriage costs. If you're hiring a lawyer, you'll need a lot more than that. The tricky thing is that the costs pile up during each round of paperwork, and unless you plan ahead, you won't realize how expensive it really is.
3. Absolute, positive certainty. If you are not 100% certain you want to get married, or that you can weather the storm with your fiance/ee, it is not worth the hassle. Knowing that you're in it for the long haul is the only reason to apply for this visa.
4. Attention to detail and lots of double and triple checking. If you're not a stickler for detail, you might want to hire a lawyer. Making simple mistakes on the application forms can lead to a request for more information, which slows down the process considerably. It is essential that you be methodical, organized, and alert to make sure you fill out every form correctly and send in the right information every time.
5. An address in the U.S. If the American fiance/ee has been living abroad for awhile and does not possess a permanent address in the U.S., you will need to get one, which is necessary from the very beginning of the process.
6. A minimum annual income. You will need a minimum annual salary (it's somewhere around $13,000 - 15,000) in order to sponsor your fiance/ee. If not, you will need to find someone willing to co-sponsor the foreign petitioner, who is willing to do two separate rounds of paperwork and provide tax and income information.
Yesterday, Sarah Lacy over at Tech Crunch started a massive anti-American Internet intifada by writing about her very bad experience trying to get a visa to Brazil. She had been planned the trip for four months and taking Portuguese lessons, evidently making a concentrated effort to understand the country and language before she left, unlike the typical American businessman. She had intended to scope out IT companies, entrepreneurs, and other potential investment opportunities. An excerpt:
I paid an expediting service hundreds of dollars to ensure I’d be
getting this visa, and clearly they’ve been getting an earful from me
over the last week. If not for a phone call from the owner this morning
finally agreeing to waive the fees I paid them, this post would largely
be skewering them. But she assures me no one is getting into Brazil and
her week has been even worse than mine. Apparently, the Brazilian
government decided to switch to a new computer system for all of its
consulate offices and only sent two computers to each office, and not
the adequate software to process everything. So everyone has been in a
holding pattern. Some consulates aren’t promising any visas before 25
days; others won’t even take an appointment with prospective travelers
unless they show documents showing travel in the next 15 days. In fact
my visa is the first one the processing firm will get back—that is, if
they actually do get it today as promised. They’ve not only been
screamed at by me, but loads of business travelers—and even a coach for
a national soccer team who can’t get in the country.
Sarah, however, made the big mistake of defacing the Brazilian flag with a little message and using some inflammatory language toward the end of the post directed at Brazilians and the Brazilian government. As a result, she was lambasted by Brazilians and a scattering of other Latin Americans, accusing the US of having an unfair visa policy and claiming she had no right to complain.
Unfortunately for her, Sarah didn't know that any minor bit of criticism towards Brazil will provoke sheer outrage, and since her post was very accusatory, she actually got death and rape threats (no joke). Defacing any flag is generally a very bad idea, as is blogging when angry and/or making sweeping accusations (trust me, I know from personal experience). So attracting an angry mob wasn't surprising.
But what irritated me about the reaction to her post was that it was so typical, something most gringos who write about Brazil have to deal with, and frankly, the reaction ended up doing an equal amount of damage to her visa issues. And as you know, I've had to deal with the US visa system for the past 10 months, so I'm well aware of how it works.
First off, Sarah was accused of being irresponsible, and everyone put the blame on her. It could be true she waited until the last minute to apply for her visa, and it could be true she didn't do her research about the complexity of the visa. But what's more important is that the responsible authorities (the visa company, which she paid to do a service, and the Brazilian consulate), ultimately were the ones who failed to do their job. And unlike seasoned travelers to Brazil, she didn't do a jeitinho and apply for the much easier tourist visa instead. She did it the right way.
Second, it is useless to compare apples to oranges. Brazil and the US have totally different visa systems with very different purposes. The US system is a mess, but more importantly, it's not always fair because we have a huge amount of illegal (and legal) immigration. The Brazilian visa system, aside from super quick and easy tourist visas, tends to be inefficient and slow, but also does not have to deal with the sheer mass and constant pressure of millions of immigrants.
But this is even irrelevant when it comes down to the fact that the US system has nothing to do with Sarah's frustration. She did not mention the US system nor does she defend it nor is she responsible for it. If she were from England or France or Australia, she would have received the exact same response, because Brazilians have an extremely hard time accepting criticism about their country (and a harder time when it comes in the form of an angry accusation like Sarah's). And any immigration issues with Latin Americans will always be a sore subject.
This used to happen to me a lot, and still sometimes does: "What right do you have to criticize the Brazilian government/system/economy/judicial system? Yours is screwed up too!" If this illogical double standard were true, I wouldn't have this blog.In fact, I'd delete the whole thing. We have two totally different countries, and criticizing one is valid based on our experiences in that country. There's a huge amount of anti-American sentiment in Brazil (I was sometimes shocked at the things people would say to my face), while the average American largely ignores Brazil until things like this happen; when they do, some Brazilians assume a double standard about who has the right to talk smack about whom, about who's system is worse than the other's.
Sarah wasn't justified in going after the entire country and its people because of what happened. But instead of chastising Sarah for her condescending tone and the flag issue, she was viciously attacked for criticizing Brazil and for coming from a country with an unfair visa system. The idea was basically: "Look at what we have to go through all the time. See how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot?" The problem is, the ha-ha, you deserved it, na-na-na-na-na attitude that a lot of people had just helps xenophobic Americans feel secure in their same attitude towards foreigners in the US. Two wrongs don't make a right.
But as far as I'm concerned, that's not the point. Everyone deserves the right to be angry and upset when they have to face visa issues, no matter where they're coming from or where they're going. I think she's completely justified to criticize the Brazilian consulate, as are any Brazilians are justified to criticize the US consulate after having problems entering the US (and which they do a lot, justifiably). Brazil's biggest hope is its rapidly growing economy, and incidents like this do not encourage foreigners to invest there or consider traveling there on business. Similarly, it's in the US's best interests to speed up visas for investors and businessmen coming to the US. Given my experience with foreigners in Brazil, Sarah's experience isn't new; any visas that involve doing some sort of work in Brazil are much more difficult to get and require much more red tape than a straightforward tourist visa (ask anyone who has ever been transferred to Brazil working at a multinational). Frankly, they're a nightmare to get.
Had Sarah taken a more diplomatic route, and/or had the response to the post been different (like Fabio Seixas' eloquent open letter), I expect the author might have written an apology. But since her anger was met with outrageous threats and accusations, it made her look like the victim, and it looks like Tech Crunch is standing behind her. And given the criminal nature of a few of the comments (the rape and death threats have been deleted from the site), it didn't make Brazilians look so great. Plus, given the vitriolic response to a valid complaint (albeit masked in ugly words), I doubt Sarah or anyone from Tech Crunch or their affiliates will keep Brazil on their radar for potential opportunities.
The bottom line is that you can't possibly expect people not to get angry about bad experiences they have in Brazil (or anywhere for that matter), and not to share those experiences when they're frustrated. Lashing out at Brazilians and using the Brazilian flag with FAIL on it was in poor taste, and it would be in the author's best interest to remove it from the site. But so were a lot of the comments. And everyone was the loser in this affair: Brazil and its up and coming IT companies, Sarah, and those who made offensive remarks when attacking her. Go ahead and demand she remove the flag, and explain to her about the danger of angry accusations and how they hurt everyone. But don't expect her not to feel justified in her frustration. Because that's a very big double standard.
We're all just humans. We all deserve the right to complain--even about Brazil. But we must always respect each other, or else we will never be able to get along.
When you move to a country where the official language is different from your own, you will inevitably face challenges with your name. In Brazil, I told most people to call me Raquel, which just made things easier, and anytime I needed to use my last name, I would have to spell it out letter by letter several times.
Eli has faced similar issues in the US, where he his name is very difficult for English speakers. Some people have tried to pronounce his name right and have managed to quite well, but he mostly tells people to call him Eli (eh-lee) or Eli (ee-lie). He also has to spell out his last name letter by letter.
Unfortunately, he's run into some issues with his name when dealing with bureaucratic paperwork. We went to open a joint bank account, where he was asked to write out his name for how it should appear on the account and his debit card. He wrote it out clearly and showed the bank employee. Then, when we got the debit cards and other information from the bank in the mail, his middle name appeared instead of his last name. We called the bank helpline, and later went into a branch and spoke to a manager. As it turns out, the bank has a rigid policy about last names, in particular one regarding Latin last names (I somehow doubt they know the difference between Spanish and Portuguese ones). It turns out it's a real hassle to change it, since they also have to change it within the system and have this "policy." It's been several weeks and we still haven't managed to resolve the problem.
Also, in the latest correspondence we've received from US immigration, his name was spelled "Eliseo," the Spanish version of his name. He sent them two letters asking them to change it, and on the most recent notification, his name was in fact spelled correctly. Throughout the immigration process, there had never been a problem with the spelling of his name, but I suspect that somewhere along the line, perhaps in an automated part of the process, spellcheck may have actually changed his name to the more commonly known spelling in the US.
In the meantime, the bartending school he attended had no problem in writing out his entire name correctly on his certificate.
Today is Part III of the visa series, teaching you how to apply for the K-1 visa, if you are crazy enough to do it.
At this point, you should have received your NOA1 and NOA2, notifying you that your I-129F application was approved. Make sure you keep both of those notifications because you will need copies of them later.
At this point, it takes a few weeks for your application to be forwarded to your fiance's local consulate. In Eli's case, it took about 3 weeks. Then, when the consulate receives and processes the application, they send the foreign fiance a notification with an interview date. Party!
But really, that just brings you to Big Step #2.
At this point, if you are not living with your fiance, it's time to ship him/her certain documents that he/she will need to bring to the interview. Here's what both of you will need to do/get for the foreign fiance:
--a copy of the NOA2
--filled out DS-230 (just the top) --2 copies of a filled out DS-156 (which you do online and print) --filled out DS-156K --filled out DS-157 --filled out FS-257A (this is the Portuguese/English version) --filled out Sworn Statement
--2 passport-sized photos --letters of good conduct from local authorities (see your local consulate for request forms)
--original birth certificate and a copy --original death or marriage certificates and a copy of each --original military service document and a copy
--receipt from $131 standard US visa fee (in Brazil, you must pay ONLY at Citibank)
--sealed medical examination* (see list of doctors in Brazil here) --filled out I-134 and supporting documents (proof of citizenship/residency, last tax return, letter from employer, recent pay stubs)**
--foreign fiance's passport
*When you go for your medical exam, which can only be done at US embassy-approved doctors, you will have to have a chest X-ray, an HIV test, a physical, and any vaccinations you may need. The doctor will give you a sealed envelope with the results. HOWEVER, once you get to the US, you will need the vaccination information again, so try to get an extra copy of it from the doctor, if he'll give it to you.
**There's a poverty cut-off for income, but if you've been living abroad like me and can't make it, all you need is a co-sponsor to fill out his/her own I-134 and provide documentation, as long as he/she promises to provide financial support for your fiance.
The most time consuming parts are the medical exam (in Brazil, you are sent to outside labs for the tests and then have to schedule an appointment with the doctor), waiting for the letters of good conduct to come out (in Rio, one took a week and the other took two weeks), and putting together the enormous pile of paperwork.
But once you're done, all you have to do is sit and wait for your interview!
