Adventures of a Gringa

Lost Archives: Op-Ed, Study Abroad

Every writer knows that rejection comes with the territory, and though I haven't quite tried to make a life-long career of writing, I've had my fair share of rejection. Here's one of those rejected pieces, an op-ed story I submitted to several newspapers back in 2007 while I was living in Brazil, though sadly, it was never published.

Study Abroad Op-Ed: Get out of here

It’s the most wonderful time of the year:  December is when thousands of college students across the country are deserting their campuses and flooding airport terminals across the country, Ipods and passports in hand. They are leaving the comfort of Starbucks’ sofas, central heating and in some cases, the English language, to study abroad. Sadly, fewer than two percent of American college students will do so, according to the most recent figures gathered by the Institute  of International Education, a nonprofit group dedicated to international education based in New York City.

This is a disgrace.

Every college student in the country should be required to spend at least one semester abroad. While some will use it as a five- or six-month break from competitive classes, a chance to legally binge drink, and an excuse to post exotic pictures on Facebook, for many it will be a life-altering experience as it was for me.

Two Decembers ago, I was a college student, leaving home to study in Buenos Aires, Argentina, after spending first semester in the Dominican Republic. Going away my junior year made me who I am today:  an American who speaks two foreign languages, an American who has lived in the developing world, and a person who has gained a true appreciation for American middle-class comforts and opportunities.

Just like me, young Americans who study abroad will learn about the rest of the world by immersing themselves in a language, culture, and place that are altogether alien. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for students to gain invaluable knowledge of another country and to become global citizens.  It also offers a unique, if challenging opportunity for college students to become cultural diplomats at a moment when our country has a unsavory reputation abroad. When I was in the Dominican Republic, I volunteered at a school in a rural slum to show my solidarity with those who had less, showing locals that Americans aren’t just drunken, selfish sunbathers. While living in Argentina, I studied hard and participated in class with Argentine students, to prove that Americans too, are interested in learning about Argentine culture and history. And now I’m living in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, discussing politics and social conflicts in Portuguese with locals, and teaching at a dance school for impoverished children.

Just like me, students who study abroad will be forced to learn another language, the gateway to understanding different peoples and culture.  Becoming fluent in Spanish, I grew close to my Dominican host family and was able to share their day-to-day lives, their history and triumphs and even their secrets, such as the intense feud the younger women were having with the eldest son’s fiancé. In Argentina, I learned how being middle class in Latin America often means feeling constant insecurity, paying endless bills, and sharing beds, and as a result, how many young people my age choose to leave the country.

Living abroad made me appreciate our reliable electrical supply, our clean water, our sanitation system, our job market, the relative stability of the dollar, and the financial safety net we provide to those living below the poverty line, however imperfect it may be.

Just like me, students who study abroad will return home as permanent global citizens.  They will have conquered a language, learned a new social and political reality, and had the opportunity to see life through foreign eyes. As global citizens, they will contribute to international understanding, no matter what career they choose. Some will even take the extra step, and share their experiences with their family, friends, and colleagues, by inviting them to visit while abroad, starting blogs detailing their experiences, and sharing their experiences when they come home. Students who go abroad also become reverse ambassadors, spreading the news about other places back home.

In this way, study abroad has a multiplying effect, helping other Americans understand other countries and cultures, and even inspiring them to explore the world.  I taught my family and friends about life in Latin America; I shared my experiences at home, in class, and as a volunteer peer counselor at my university’s study abroad office, where students’ most common anxiety was whether they’d be able to get used to living in a totally foreign place.

Finally, just like me, students who study abroad have a unique chance to become unofficial diplomats for the United States. As our government continues its invasion of Iraq, maintains its truculent foreign policy, and our leaders continue to show their lacking knowledge of world geography, we must become informal youth ambassadors to the world. We must use this opportunity to show the rest of the world that our government is not us. We can show them that we know the difference between Australians and Austrians, that we know how to speak the local language, and that we are aware of realities other than our own. We are the best new ambassadors the United States has.

It’s our turn to show the rest of the world that we are Americans, but we aren’t ignorant ego-maniacs. So lay down the lattes, turn off the laptops, and get out of the padded swivel chairs. It's our turn to be the diplomats. 

Let’s get out of here. 

Top Ten Reasons Why Expats Are Better Employees (& Human Beings)

As I continue on my job search, I've noticed different qualifications employers ask for that apply to people who have lived abroad, like the ability to work with diverse groups of people and language skills. But I've been frustrated that other qualifications seem to outweigh these skills, like having a Master's or working three years for a similar organization.

So I came up with a Top Ten list to show that people with international experience--namely, expat experience, living in a foreign country--make better employees, and perhaps, better people too.

10. Language skills: With some exceptions, many expats come home speaking a new language proficiently, if not fluently, giving them the ability to communicate, translate, and interpret. Even the exceptions--those who live in a country with the same native language--come back with an appreciation and knowledge of the local dialect and a better ability to communicate with people from that country.

9. Manners: Being polite is of the utmost importance when living abroad, especially since learning local customs is one of the most vital parts of adapting to another country. Plus, basic manners are some of the first words you tend to learn when beginning a new language: please, thank you, you're welcome, etc. Expats get into the habit of having better manners, a useful tool in being successful abroad, which carries over when they return to their home country. Having extra polite manners makes an enormous difference in how people are perceived and received, and is useful in any profession when dealing with co-workers and clients.

8. Maturity: Former expat twenty-somethings, especially those entering entry and mid-level jobs, are more likely to have a higher maturity level than those who have not lived abroad. Being obligated to deal with new, difficult situations and to get through them gracefully and successfully, as well as being exposed to totally different realities, is better than any boot camp money could buy. Those young people who have lived abroad are more likely to understand the importance of respect, obedience, and propriety than those who have not.

7. Diplomacy: After living in another country and becoming an "honorary" local, it is easy to become an ambassador to that country when returning home, be it for a group of friends, a company, or a community group. Since you know the country's customs and language well, people look to you to interact with foreigners from your former home. After living in Argentina, who would be best suited to meet with and coordinate first meetings with new clients from Buenos Aires? After living in Mozambique, who would be best prepared to handle grant recipients there? After living in the DR, who would be most appropriate to work with Dominican patients at the local clinic?

6. Flexibility: Part of the adaptation process is becoming more flexible, learning to decide the best process based on prior experience but keeping an open mind that local solutions can work, too. You learn to pick from a variety of ways to handle challenges, and to be calmer and more understanding of things that might normally bother or upset you. An American expat in Rio once told me the most important thing he'd learned in Brazil was flexibility; the example he gave was that a man was shot at point-blank range just steps from his infant son at a local park, and that he'd learned to expect challenges like this one without losing his mind.

5. Compassion: Since moving abroad and adapting is a very difficult process, expats develop a greater capacity for compassion for people going through similar situations. Also, and perhaps more importantly, expats who live in less developed countries than their home country get a much better perspective on "how the other half lives" and a much deeper appreciation for where they come from, be it Americans living in Guatemala or Brazilians living in Angola. They also develop a greater sensitivity to the poor and marginalized, a special sense of compassion for those who have less.

4. Patience: Living in another country and adapting to a new place requires a great deal of patience, even more so when living in a developing country. Even after you've adapted, some countries can be endlessly frustrating, which requires expats to work at elevating their patience levels and learning to pick their battles more carefully. 

3. Fast learners: People who lived abroad are forced to adapt to a different culture, language, and way of living, usually in a relatively short period of time in order to really integrate into the new country. They learn to get used to constant, new challenges and to be able to deal with them accordingly. Figuring out how to fix a jammed printer will seem like a breeze after having had to learn how to flush a toilet without running water. Plus, former expats are more willing to learn new skills, since they are used to a constant learning process and different learning curves.

2. Tolerance: Living abroad means having to learn to work with and get along with not only people from the new country, but quite often other foreigners, too. Learning to work with diverse groups of people in an international setting is one of the greatest opportunities expats have while living abroad, since it's an invaluable skill wherever you end up. Also, expats frequently interact with people they might never have interacted with before it home, be it people of different religions, ethnic groups, or socioeconomic groups.

1. Creativity: Research shows that people who have lived abroad are actually more creative than those who haven't. History also shows that some of the world's most accomplished artists and writers were those who spent time living abroad. Expats develop a greater capacity to think creatively and to try different ways of approaching difficult issues. Having to confront constant challenges helps expats find newer, better ways to deal with problems and makes them better, more efficient problem solvers.

Complicado

Depois de morar no Brasil, eu me sinto brasileira.

Sei que os militantes vão pirar ao ler isto, mas é a verdade. Para qualquer expatriota que mora por bastante tempo em outro país, é facil chegar a sentir como um cidadão desse lugar. Mas é essencial ter uma experiência "normal," ou seja, viver como uma pessoa desse país vive.

Depois de morar como estudante em três outros países, não me sinto espanhola, nem dominicana, e especialmente não argentina. Mas o meu amor para esses três lugares é muito mais puro e simples do que meu amor para o Brasil. Morei na Espanha, na Republica Dominicana e na Argentina em uma situação privilegiada, em uma realidade suspensa, parecida com a vida de uma estudante local mas sem o peso da responsibilidade adulta, que é vital para entender um pais. É certo que minha experiência no Brasil não é completamente autêntica, mas ao viver as mesmas tramas no dia-a-dia (e as maiores e mais complexas), cheguei a ter um entendimento muito mais profundo dos brasileiros.

A minha relação com o Brasil é complicada, como a de uma brasileira nata. Não é que a minha identidade americana seja simples; e não é. Mas morar no Brasil me deu uma perspectiva muito mais clara de como é ser americana, enquanto aprendi como é ser brasileira.

Ser brasileira é ter uma linha muito fina entre o amor e o ódio pela pátria, sentir o puxão entre o patriotismo cego e a desilusão total. Ser brasileira é negar os males enquanto reclama deles. Ser brasileira é colocar mais fé no futebol do que na política. Ser brasileira é ficar acima do muro enquanto joga pedras. Ser brasileira é sempre ser e ter filha, tia, prima, sobrinha, mãe. Ser brasileira é amar sem fim, ainda se doer. Ser brasileira é nunca estar sozinha.

Ser brasileira é escolher entre tampando os olhos ou deixando-os bem abertos. Ser brasileira é encolher os ombros para o seu dia progredir, para você sobreviver. Ser brasileira é rir para não chorar. Ser brasileira é suprimir à vergonha para fortalecer o orgulho. Ser brasileira é ter felicidade na superficie para esmagar a tristeza, empurrar ela mais para dentro e tentar esquecer dela. Ser brasileira é convencer-se sentir livre de problemas, para ficar leve apesar de carregar um peso nos ombros. Ser brasileira é trabalhar para viver, para realizar a prazer e lazer de estar vivo. Ser brasileira é comemorar o grande presente da vida enquanto enfrenta às piores maldições dos homens.

Ser brasileira é uma contradição.

On leaving: Part II

When moving involves getting on a plane to go to another continent, it can often be an odd sensation, being caught between two worlds, your old life and your new one. The day I moved back to New York, I was constantly faced with the question of who I was and where I came from, one all expats face when they return home.

It started out with a robbery.

As dez lições cariocas

This is the story I originally wrote for the Gente Boa section of O Globo that they decided not to publish (nor an abbreviated version). I wrote it in January, but I finally decided to post it now.

As dez lições cariocas

10. Para as mulheres, não dá para fazer planos durante os jogos mais importantes de futebol.  Não adianta sair para boate ou filme; os homens recusam sair de frente de uma TV para poder assistir o jogo. Não adianta sair com as amigas para um restaurante ou um bar; os garçons estarão distraidos pelo jogo. Não adianta dormir; os gritos te deixarão acordada até o final do jogo. Como dizemos em inglês, If you can’t beat em,’ join em,’ ou seja, se não pode vencé-los, junta-se à eles. O melhor plano durante os jogos é assisti-los!

9.  Tem regras sutis porém muito importantes no comportamento durante as refeições. Em meu caso, o mais difícil é não poder comer com as mãos, especialmente sanduíche, pizza, hamburger, bolinho, até as vezes batata frita! Sem talher, guardanapo ou palito, não é civilizado no Rio, porém nos Estados Unidos, é aceitável e esperado. As vezes vejo as pessoas limpando a boca depois de cada gole de bebida, mas não tenho paciência para isso; porém aprendi a limpar a boca depois de comer, ainda se fosse só um salgadinho na esquina. Não é comum ver os cariocas comendo ou bebendo enquanto andam, como é normal nos Estados Unidos, e isto é especialmente difícil para mim, já que gosto de multitask, ou seja, fazer mais de uma coisa na mesma hora para poupar tempo. Aqui, comer é um tempo sagrado, um momento separado do resto do dia.

8.  Os cariocas são muito afeituosos e dão um beijo não só quando cumprimentam uma pessoa, senão também quando se despedem. Isso não é muito comum com os americanos, menos que sejam parentes, porque não gostamos muito de se tocar. Por isso, levei muito tempo para acostumar com isso. Mas ainda não sei como deveria cumprimentar uma pessoa, já que é normal para os cariocas dar dois beijos, mas as vezes as mulheres só dão um e se abraçam. Nesse caso, fico confusa e acabo com a boca arranhando no nariz da pessoa. E depois de ficar todo incomodada, tenho que dar beijo de novo justo depois do encontro, mesmo que seja curto!

7. Os cariocas reprimem os barulhos do corpo a qualquer custo.  Agora nem penso em tirar um lenço de papel para limpar o nariz na mesa do almoço; tenho que ir no banheiro, ainda se vou limpar em silêncio total. Se fizer barulho (ainda no banheiro) as pessoas me olham com puro nojo.  Sempre tenho que cobrir a boca quando tossir, ainda se estiver sozinha, porque se uma pessoa entrar e me ver, vai fazer cara feia. Mas por isso estranhei o costume do espirro.  Nos Estados Unidos, é bem-educado falar “saúde” quando uma pessoa espirra, até para as pessoas que não conhecemos. No Rio, não é assim. Tanto que os cariocas não aguentam os barulhos do corpo, a maioria das vezes me ignoram quando eu espirro, fingindo não escutar. Os arrotos e as fratulências? Jamais--não tenho vontade de ser banida do Rio!

6. Os cariocas se vestem de um jeito mais formal do que os americanos quando saem de casa. As únicas exceções são quando vão para a praia ou fazem exercícios. Por isso, só nessas ocasiões  é “permitido” para as mulheres andar de Havaianas ou de tênis. Nos Estados Unidos, muitas vezes ando de sweatpants ou calça de ioga, mas aqui nem atrevo. Não entendo como as cariocas andam de salto alto com tanta freqüência sem ficar com bolhas nos pés e dor nas costas, e fico muito impressionadas em ver elas andar assim na cidade inteira. Eu não aguento, e a maioria do tempo ando de chinelo (mas, pelo menos, de Havaianas Slims). O costume de vestir bem é um dos costumes cariocas que mais gostei e quando estava em Nova Iorque em Julho, minha mãe comentou comigo, “Por que está de vestido? Só vamos ao shopping!”

5. Os americanos temos um conceito que se chama personal space (espaço particular) porque não gostamos de ficar encostados nos outros e evitamos tocar as pessoas. Ao meu ver, os cariocas adoram estar em multidão e de ficar pertos, seja na praia, em um show, ou em um churrasco. Estão muito mais cómodos em se tocar e ficar mais próximos do que os americanos. Meu pesadelo carioca é ficar no metrô durante a hora do rush, como em uma lata de sardinhas. Fico perplexa quando uma pessoa senta ao meu lado no ônibus mesmo que tenha assento livre, e também quando uma mulher pára um centrímetro atrás de mim em uma fila.

4. Os cariocas tem uma especie de honestidade muito única relacionada com a apariência física. São muito mais abertos para apontar diferenças ou problemas, até com pessoas que não conhecem. Várias vezes, me falaram que fiquei mais gorda. O único americano que faria assim teria um desejo de morte! Mas muitas vezes, apontam coisas para poder ajudar, como mostrar uma mancha no rosto ou uma sujeira na roupa. Uma vez, estive numa loja buscando brincos. O vendedor me aproximou e disse, “Tem algo no seu cabelo,” e enquanto falava, foi tirar um pedaço de algodão do meu cabelo. Fiquei sem palavras porque no meu pais, fazer uma coisa assim com um desconhecido (e até cliente!) é impensável.

3.  Acredito que muitos cariocas acham que os melhores lugares da cidade são os mais caros. Mas para mim, são os gratuitos. Adoro os parques daqui, como o Parque Lage, o parque da casa do Rui Barbosa, e a Floresta da Tijuca. Ė tão bom escapar da cidade para passear na mata e nos jardins. Ir na praia ainda é novidade para mim, depois de crescer longe do mar. Gosto de andar na orla, seja em Ipanema ou em Botafogo, e de correr na Lagoa. O Centro Cultural Banco do Brasil é meu museu preferido da cidade, que sempre tem exposição gratuita.  Até o coração e alma do Rio, como os blocos do Carnaval e alguns ensaios das escolas de samba são de graça. Adoro andar de bonde em Santa Teresa, onde sempre assisto dramas  cariocas.

2.  O que mais me incomoda no Rio é a injustiça, que practicamente forma parte da vida. Não pode escapá-la, porque estará presente onde for. Não aguento ver nenêns famintos, nem garotinhos sujos, descalços e desesperados, nem as velinhas pedindo esmola. Apesar do que as pessoas as vezes dão dinheiro e comida para os mais pobres, fico incomodada com a atitude indiferente de muitos cariocas, como “sempre era assim, é assim agora, e não posso mudar nada.”  Talvez eu seja ingenua ou idealista, mas eu concordo com o Machado de Assis que “a indiferença é o pior de todos os males.”

1.  A coisa que mais valorizo sobre os cariocas é que se você cair, sempre terá alguem para te segurar. Os cariocas são umas das pessoas mais solidárias e generosas que encontrei e sempre fico surpreendida como eles tratam bem os desconhecidos. Cada vez que tive um problema sério, os cariocas sempre me tratavam com paciência, respeito e muito carinho, me deixando muito mais calma e muito agradecida. Uma vez, estava no trem indo para um jogo em Maracanã com meu marido e o carro ficou muito quente e abafado. Comecei a passar mal e desmaiei. Quando acordei na plataforma, um grupo de pessoas preocupadas me rodearam, me oferecendo água, gelo e conselho.  Continuei enjoada e mareada, mas senti estranhamente amada, despertada pelo calor humano.

Back to the future

Ever since I first lived abroad, I've been in Bush exile, and I dreaded returning to Bush's America. But now, I'm going back to Obamerica, and I feel very differently.

Things aren't perfect, nor are they ideal. But there's something comforting about going back to a country with a leader you deeply respect, rather than one you genuinely hate. Even during this dreadful crisis, I'm still much, much happier to be going back knowing Obama is in command.

It's also been easier living abroad with Obama as president. People still ask and comment about Bush, but now I feel proud to represent Obama, rather than have to explain how I in no way support or represent Bush. Especially in Brazil, where Obama is enormously popular, I feel almost like a proud daughter talking about my president.

But while living abroad, I've learned that there are more important things than the president. I'm happy to be going back to a functional democracy, one where I feel protected by the law, and one where the rule of law keeps society running somewhat functionally. I'm relieved to be going back to a place where my congressmen aren't lining their pockets with my tax dollars, and where the police will actually come if I call. I'm happy to be leaving a place where the threat of getting mugged or shot is always at the back of my mind. I'm grateful to go back to a place where I feel safe, in every sense of the word. It eases the unconscious stress and frustration I feel every day living in Brazil.

The United States is far from perfect, but it is home, and I've never appreciated it more than I do now.

Confessions of a Consumer

Eli and I went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic, (aptly but incompletely released as Os delirios de consumo de Becky Bloom) which came out here nearly two months after its US release. It's about Rebecca Bloomwood, a New York girl who ends up in debt due to her shopping habit. Becky practices what I consider hyperconsumerism, which may seem exaggerated in the movie but isn't that uncommon in real life: she spends more than she makes, living beyond her means. The movie isn't exactly Oscar material, but it's sweet and funny, and the wonderful Isla Fisher was incredibly entertaining. 

But what really struck me was how the movie was received in the US and Brazil. I felt the movie was a wake-up call and a warning, respectively, though few reviewers seem to agree.