a note to Sarah Jessica Parker

To: SJP
CC: Michael Patrick King
From: Rio Gringa
Re: SATC Movie

Dear SJP,

Just because you're a Jewish girl from New York doesn't mean I like you, you money-grubbing fashion ho. I never liked you, even on the show which I loved so much.

I had so much faith in this movie, despite the poor reviews, because the beauty of the show was in the great actors, the spectacular writing, and New York as the "fifth lady."

But the TV series ended so wonderfully, and was so satisfying, that I should have known making a movie would just ruin everything, which it did. I am so incredibly disappointed, and I wish I could forget everything that happened in this movie and remember everything as it was at the end of the show.

Instead of weeping and laughing through the movie, I sat waiting for the good writing to kick in. It never did, and I was sad to discover the script was cliched, contrived, and cheesy. Instead of getting homesick for New York, I got dizzy with all the wardrobe changes. Instead of leaving with that warm, fuzzy satisfaction I got from watching the TV show, I left feeling angry, disappointed and hungry, since there were so many scenes with good food. I was so tempted to tell the dozens of people waiting for the next showing, "E um lixo!!" but I refrained.

The best and only redeeming part of seeing the movie was watching a preview for a Brazilian movie, Era uma vez (Once upon a time), a Rio love story about a favela boy who falls in love with a rich girl from Ipanema. It made me miss Rio acutely, even though I haven't left yet.

Anyway. I want my money, and those two and a half hours of my life back, please.

Best,
Rio Gringa

Comments

[Trapped in NJ No Longer]

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