what matters

The other day, when I wrote about the role of work in Brazilian life vs. in American life, it really got me thinking, not just about that but about the fundamental differences between how Brazilians view life and how Americans do. I was a little nervous that my observations were too hasty, too generalized, but two of my loyal Brazilian readers backed me up, so now I feel more confident in what I have to say.

One of the best ways to learn about your country and your people is to leave it and live in a different country amongst a different people, and not only be able to compare your country to theirs but also to see your country from the outside.

This became abundantly clear to me when I spent a year studying abroad in college. Gradually, a vision formed in my mind of the country I'd left, which has only grown clearer since I moved to Brazil.

Before I came to Brazil, I learned that the US has become one of the most powerful countries in the world because we work extremely hard and refuse to accept anything but the best in what we do. I learned the US has become a great place to live because we set high standards for ourselves and have built up a set of living conditions that offer us more comfort and efficiency than in many countries. I learned that we though lacking, we do have a decent system of higher education and some of the most addictive pop culture (movies, music, and literature) in the world.

I also learned, though, that Americans measure everything based on success: your job, your position at your job, how much money you make, how many degrees you have, how far "you've made it in life." I learned we are a consumption-obsessed people where shopping and acquisition are among life's great joys and goals. I learned Americans believe that everything in life should be based on merit and hard work and that's why the more you pay for something, the better quality and results you expect, be it a car or education. I learned that Americans believe that everything in life has a price tag, and that you only deserve what you can afford, which is why we have to pay to receive medical care and a college education. I learned that Americans are terribly ignorant about the rest of the world.

So I had all of this in mind when I came to Brazil.

I found that though Americans are some of the most generous people, many of which give their time to volunteer to good causes and to donate money  and go to charity fundraisers.

But I found that though Brazilians are much less likely to donate time or money to philanthropy, they are some of the world's most ridiculously generous people in day to day matters. They'll invite you to stay at their house even if they've never met you, they'll lend money to a friend even if they're completely broke themselves, they'll lend you anything you need even if it's the only one they have, and they will open their homes and hearts to you no matter if they just met you or if you're close friends.

I found that Americans tend to define each other by what we do and what we have accomplished in life, and that your job defines who you are as a person. In Brazil, your job is important, but doesn't define who you are. Being "gente boa" (good people) and being a good friend and family member and part of society is just as important as your job. Plus, due to unemployment and crappy wages, having a job at all is an accomplishment in and of itself.

I found that Americans are obsessed with the latest pharmaceuticals, the latest cancer treatments, and the latest advancements in medicine because we have a deep-seated fear of incapacitation and of death. We have this anxiety that by the time we get old or sick we won't have finished everything we wanted to accomplish and we won't be ready to go.

But Brazilians have a different view of death. I think Brazilians don't fear death as a cut-off point, as the end of the line, but as a marker in time. In general, I think, Brazilians tend to measure their lives not exclusively by what they accomplished but by how well they took advantage of their time on earth: if they embraced the gift of life by fully enjoying it, by having fun, by having a family, and also by being productive along the way.

So though some of you, like my brother, may think I may hate America, I don't. I just think we have a lot to learn about life and our approach to it from Brazilians.

Comments

[david]

The American value system is based on pure value, defined in dollars, rank, or accomplishment. This is our strength and weakness, I think you are saying. So, perhaps what we need in this country is more people like you who have redefined their value system and try to incorporate these "non-value" values into the American system. There is a screaming need in this country for humanistic values and for institutions and systems that embrace these values. The rugged individual can strive for success but still be caring and charitable, without asking anything or any acknowledgement in return. We need people to teach these values and lead others.

So, I agree, but we can be better, and we need leaders, young and old, to bring these types of values to life here.

[Thelma]

Hi Rachel!

I just found out your blog and gave it a quick read (I'll read it, I'm sure!) and I have to agree with you in some points but I think Brazilians are extremely obsessed with apparence (what car I drive, what brand is my jeans and so on) as well as physical apperance... No country is perfect nor people. We just have to learn to get the best of them! ;-)

Beijos

[Lenore]

Your travels, your education, your upbringing...all have helped to shape you as an individual who happens to be American. You and others, young and old, can help change things, here and abroad. Unfortunately, it takes time, patience and willingness.

[cecilia]

first of all, thelma has a very good point about how brazilians are obsessed with what other people think.
now, in a way, you're getting "brazilianized" like most foreigners that live in brazil do, they become a little brazilian and brazilians accept and welcome that with open arms.
i don't get the same impression from americans. foreigners here usually maintain their countries' traditions even more than they did when they lived in "old country" and pass them on to their children who, even if they were born in the us, answer "i am chinese/i am mexican/i am armenian" to anyone that asks them where are they from. even if you are a foreigner that has become "americanized" the americans don't embrace you as an equal. you're always hearing "go back to your country" type of remarks.
anyway, weird comment. did that make any sense? hope so.